Men aren’t always the enemy.
Every Monday, those of us here at CGA divide in to gender specific groups in the afternoon. This time is used to grow us uniquely in to who God created us to be as women (or men). I think now more then ever I am incredibly proud to call myself a woman of God. I was designed as a helpmate, to specifically empower men and women a like. I was designed to be fearlessly pursued. I was created to love and be loved.
However, over the course of my life my story has effected my ability to absorb love. I have been told that I am unworthy. I watched as love was a violent exchange not one that showed gentleness and care.
On top of that for the past 7 years I have lived in a home with some of the strongest women I have ever met. On any given weekend you can find us moving around furniture or making necessary home improvements. At the end of these long days I’d often find myself saying, “We are strong independent women, we don’t need no man”. I carried this mentality with me on to my race and when I was put on a co-ed team I struggled to figure out what it looked like to allow a man to serve me and other women around me. I had grown so accustomed to doing everything by myself. Including “manly jobs”. Over time though my love and trust for my brothers, Tony and Jayden, grew and I was able to let them love me. Looking back I definitely didn’t always allow it but it became easier. Then I went home to my strong independence.
Now I am in a new season with new men. These men are men that hear from the Lord and without thinking serve in so many simple and little ways. During one of our Monday chit-chats we were discussing what it looks like to allow the space for men to be men. Suddenly it dawned on me that many times I have to catch myself in order to make sure I am allowing men to be men. One super recent example was when one of the guys went to go grab me a chair. I walked in to the room and watched as one of them stood up to go get me a chair… I literally launched across the room in an attempt to stop him. Sidenote: men if you wanna watch me cringe show me some chivalry. Seriously, my body still doesn’t know how to respond properly. Then all of the sudden something clicked inside of me.
‘What will it hurt to allow someone to serve you?’
Ladies let me tell you something. Chivalry is not dead. You just have to actively allow the space for chivalry to grow. A man choosing to serve you is not him belittling you or trying to prove that he is better than you. When a man chooses to serve you in the little ways and in the big he is making the choice to step in to manhood. He’s choosing to serve and love you in the ways in which he was called to.
Receiving love is something I still struggle with daily from both men and women. It’s this incredibly beautiful dance that I get to watch day in and day out in our little community here in Gainesville.
*In this blog love is not just a term for a romantic relationship but an incredible act of service that shows the Father’s heart.*
